It has been a couple of weeks since I have posted a message….sorry – a lot has been happening and not completely on the adoption front. Tuesday evening, September 8th, we found out that the birth mother had probably miscarried. We really haven’t found out anything more about what has actually happened. This all “came down” less than 2 days before we were to travel to Jacksonville to meet her. I know that Matt and I both wondered if it could be possible for us to endure anymore loss – whether perceived or actual loss. I have thought a lot about the verse in Job (1:21) “And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Exactly one week later, Tuesday, September 16th, I got the phone call that my brother-in-law , my older sister, Cathy’s husband, was killed tragically in a car accident that day. He was in a head on collision with a tanker truck. Honestly, my already heightened emotions exploded. Thankfully Matt was already leaving work and on his way home. We packed and left to drive all night to Grand Rapids, Michigan with my parents. Kevin was an incredible man who loved the Lord, his family, and his friends. He will be GREATLY missed. A positive aspect in a difficult situation was I was able to see and meet some incredible people who are my sister, niece, and nephew’s support system. I was also able to learn from Kevin’s life. He was very intentional in his relationships. He had made an incredible impact on his dry cleaner and his florist – just to name a few. He intentionally built relationships with these people who he did business with. I am not good at this. I need to be more aware and conscious of the people that God brings into my life. I need to put my own personal fear and comfort level aside so I can bless others. As I reflect back, the week that Matt and I spent in Michigan was good to help me put life into perspective. I found that during that time my emotions also began to equalize - I wasn’t feeling extremely high or extremely low. I was concerned about this at first. Friends have encouraged me that it isn’t a bad thing. I know I just have to be careful not to let it go too far. While in Michigan a friend shared this verse with me – I Peter 5:10 – “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” What a wonderful reminder. We traveled home from Michigan on Monday. September 21st. The rest of the week was taken to get back into our routine. Matt has been EXTREMELY busy at work. It was great to go to our Ladies Bible study Wednesday afternoon and to our small group Sunday evening.
This past Monday evening, we received a phone call from our adoption consultant. She made us aware of a situation in Tallahassee, Florida. A baby boy was born August 29th. I’ll summarize the details. The birth mother is committed to placing him up or adoption. The difficulty has been with the birth father. The lawyer was petitioning the court yesterday to have his right terminated. The lawyer’s office is not going to present profiles to the birth mother until after his rights have been terminated. It is thought that will occur by the end of this week. The caseworker will filter through profiles to decide what will be presented to the birth mother. We were told that the birth mother is looking was a couple that can provide a good home and a college education. We overnighted our profile to the caseworker yesterday. Basically we are waiting to see if we are chosen to be submitted to the birth mother and then waiting to see if the birth mother selects us. We have been told that once the birth mother selects a couple, the process will happen quickly – within the week. Matt and I are spending the time that we are waiting to make sure we have the finances that we would need to take with us – knowing that even if this situation doesn’t work out – we will have the money ready when another situation arises. Our consultant is looking for scenarios where the baby is either about to be born and or is already born. We know that this means things will happen quickly. Matt and I would prefer to have the stress on our end and not having to have those months of waiting for birth.
Well, I think I have brought you up to speed. During this time I have found a song by the group Kutless. The song is called “What Faith Can Do.” You probably have figured out already that song lyrics really seem to hit home for me. Here are the lyrics:
What Faith Can Do
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
Overcome the odds
You don’t have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That’s what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise